Swedish Chicks Are Awesome

Resolutions Progress Part 2: The Next 25

In my last post about my progress to date, now that I'm 3/4ths of the way through the year, I noted that I'm pulling a 50% rating on completion.  For the first 25, 11 were completed, 11 were left undone and unlikely to be completed, and 3 were no longer relevant.  

Now we turn to the final 25.  Let's have a look, shall we:

26.  Take More Photos.

I'm not sure why, but ever since I got my first digital camera many years ago, it seems like each year I take less and less pictures.  One theory is that I've covered a lot of ground, and so after a while I'm just repeating myself.  While I've taken as many this year as last year, perhaps even more, I don't think it's significant enough to count, so.....Doh!

27.  Buy New Digital Camera

Wow, the prices on digital cameras were great this past year.  I got a nice one, and it's a shame that I don't use it more.  Regardless.  Check!

28.  Research Career Path(s)

I met this psychologist a few years ago that was: a psychologist, an emt, a fireman, and a basketball coach.  The guy was kind of inspiring even though he was well over 250 pounds.  I've always kind of liked the idea of being versatile, so I thought maybe I should consider diversifying into alternate careers.  One thing I looked into was writing.  Another, I'm saving for another day.  Regardless, 2 is enough to count it.  Check!

29.  Lay out new 5 year goal set personally.

In process, always changing.  In process.

30.  Lay out new 5 year goal set professionally.

Ditto.  In process.

31.  Look into more volunteer opportunities.  

I'm ashamed to say that I blew this one.  I'm not happy about it. Hopefully I will overcome this soon.  Doh!

32.  Get in touch with alumni association in town.

Bizarrely, there is a huge alumni population that all seem to meet at one bar every football weekend to watch the game.  I indeed got on their mailing list, so I'm counting it.  Check!

33.  Secret!!!!!!!

No one must know this dark secret.  But check!

34.  Properly organize file cabinet.

It could be better, but I've got it going into a decent system that I do use a lot.  Check!

35.  Bring file cabinet up from basement. 

This seems odd, but it's not.  I wasn't using the file cabinet because it was in the basement, so I brought it upstairs and organized it.  Check!

36.  Find place for small practice amp upstairs.

It's right on top of the file cabinet!  Check!

37.  Organize new material for file cabinet.

I forgot what I meant when I wrote this one, so I can only surmise I meant organize things that were going to go into the file cabinet, which I've done, but I could've done better.  I'm counting it, but it still needs work.  Check!

38.  Assess positivity level daily.

I did this quite well for about 5 months, in fact, adding a whole slew of other categories such as quality of sleep, relationship rating, daily crack use, etc.  Somewhere along the way, I decided it was too depressing to track it, because I think by watching how depressed I could get some days, it made me sad on other days.  Not to mention, it consumed a lot of time.  I still do it sometimes, but only the positivity, and still not very often. I'm not counting it.  Doh!

39.  Try to be more positive.

I learned long ago that you can always find something to bitch about and even more reasons to be sad and upset.  But I also learned that there were tons of people that weren't sad and upset that had just as much knowledge as I did, which means that being happy and positive, at least to a great extent, is a personal decision somewhere.  I think the cornerstone of that is choosing to be positive and note the goodness of things. This is a LOT easier said than done, and I've been horrible at it.  I'm not counting it, but I'm working on it.  Doh!

40.  Figure out some personal organization software.

Not only did I learn one, I learned about 3 and maybe more.  I learned my ical backwards and forwards, I learned fitday pretty well, and I'm using my email client to kick me in the balls when needed.  Check!

41.  Choose a new enjoyable podcast.

I've chosen like 10 new ones.  My staple is On the Media on NPR.  Smodcast entered the mix and I've also taken on skeptoid, to name just 3.  Check!

42.  Take the underlings out for dinner.

I haven't done this yet, but I've got time before the end of the year.   My people do a good job for me, so they deserve it.  In process.

43.  Write/record one new promo a month.

This is a professional thing that didn't work out because of formatting issues and time changes.  If you don't know what that means, it doesn't matter really.  It's a work thing.  Anyway, not applicable.   N/A.

44.  Eat more leafy greens.

I indeed eat more leafy greens now.  Namely, I'm a Popeye mofo eating spinach like it's going out of style.  And broccoli to, though I don't know how leafy that is.  I came late to it again, but it's awn now, so I'm counting it.  Check!

45.  Research nutrition.

I've completely redone my diet, trying to get just the right mix of daily nutrients, again which has been helped tremendously by fitday.com.  I came late to it once again, and I could do better and know more, but  I've done a decent job at the research, so I'm counting it.  Check!

46.  Get a cellphone.  

I got two!  One, my girlfriend got me, but I lost because I'm an idiot (I left it in a cab).  The other is a nice flipphone that kicks much ass.  Check!

47.  Learn about the stock market.

I know about the stock market, but I don't KNOW about the stock market.....you know?  I'd really like to know more of its history, workings on a macro and micro scale. But I think I need to focus energy on it in order to get up to speed.  Haven't done it so far.  Doh!

48.  Research one new stock to invest in.

Are you freaking kidding me?!  Have you been watching the news.  Thankfully...Doh!

49.  Get weighty.

By that I mean lift weights.  I started doing this at the beginning of last summer and then around December, fell off for a number of reasons.  I'm  happy to say that I'm back with a vengeance, getting Charles Atlas all up in the motherfucker.   Check!

50.  Do body rhythm monitoring.

Aka biorhythms.  I'm a big believer that patterns repeat.  So I needed to find out if there were patterns repeating. As noted above, this went well for around 5 months, but then I got sidetracked. However, I recalled that indeed, getting sidetracked at that time of the year may indeed be a biorhythm of it's own.  I'm counting it, but noting that I need to reinvest in the enterprise.  Check!

So, with today's tally, that's  15 complete, 6 totally fucked, and 4 either in process or not applicable for some reason.  With the other posts totals, that brings the grand numbers to: 26 complete, 17 totally fucked, and 8 either in process or not applicable.  While that's only just over half, it's notable that one fifth could still be completed or are just no longer applicable, which could raise me to as high as 75 percent completion rate.  I think that's pretty good.  Even if I only got over half, it would still be good, but, trying to be optimistic, I'm shooting for the  high percentage possible.

One of my final goals for a bonus?  Make a list of 100 resolutions next year!  Viva la Yang!

And Once Again, My Plans For World Domination Take a Step Forward

Check out Malintent , a new government human factors machine that will be rolled out at airports around the country.  It doesn't look inside your bag or xray your person for bombs.  No, no, no.  It's MUCH worse.  It reads your mind and determines what's what.  With that and recent other steps forward that are moving me closer to completing my fembot army and taking my rightful place as emperor, I'm seriously considering having my name changed to Mum-Ra!

Update Notes

For those of you filling out the survey last week, I'm sorry but the correct answer we were looking for was "Make Yang emperor."  Yes, "Make Yang emperor."  Sorry, no points this round.


In other news,  you'll notice below the picture of my bathroom on the side there that you can now become a known follower of Yang.  You'll also notice that I'm the first follower of myself. I think that means I'm masturbating but I'm pretty sure I haven't cum.  I don't think so anyway.  Anyhoo, if you'd like to let me know what's what, become a follower.


And finally, don't forget to vote in this week's survey to the right there.  It takes like 2 seconds.

Being 3/4th's of the Way Through The Year, It's Time To Check the Resolution Tote Board (Part 1)

Like a lot of people, I like to make lists of things to do in a coming year, some just to get them done, some just for personal enrichment.  I made a list of around 50 things, saddened to say that I was either too stupid or too lazy to come up with 50 more.  (For an instance of what some people have done, I recommend you check out the blog of a girl called 99 Problems where she tries to mark off 99 different things throughout the year...apparently a bitch is not one of them).  

I'll list the resolution/goal and then tell you how I'm doing on it and/or my excuse thus far.  At the outset, I've read other people that I know who've done similar things, and I've been much impressed with them. I hope I hold up to your good examples.  By the way, you might want to get a drink, this is going to be a long mofo of an entry.

Here we go:

1.  Cook 1 new meal a week.  

While I started strong on this one and devised it as a way to get more variety in my diet as well as learn more cooking as well as get an activity my girlfriend and I could do together, I slipped in later months and we would go almost months without cooking anything new.  However, in the last month or so, we've had to make up for that in spades with my new exercise regimen, making a number of new meals a week.  So, it evens out.  Check!

2.  Write One New Song a Month.

I actually did this, though not one every month but like 2 or 3 every other month.  The problem?  99 percent was crap, possibly 100 if I'm honest with myself.  So, I'm not going to count it, because I'm pretty sure I meant write one new GOOD song a month.   Doh!

3.  Try to Cover Debt.

As with a lot of people, this is an ongoing process.  Goddamn you school, when my doctorate reigns supreme, I shall get paid thy phat money and it shall all be worth it.  Since the effort is honest and wide ranging, I'm counting it with the caveat that it's going to be ongoing for a while.  Check!

4.  Cardio training.

That's all I put. No "how often", no "how much", no "what kind"...just .....cardio.  Well, I'm doing kickboxing, jump training, and a more pure cardio these days, so I'm counting it with the caveat that I did wait a little long to come with the thunder.  Check!

5.  Work on my two books.  

This went well for a while, but I decided that more important things needed to get done, like I needed to get my score up on a video game as well as plan certain things out.  Oh well.  I did work on them quite a bit, but I'm not counting.  (ps, don't ask about them,  I don't talk about unfinished works).  Doh!

6.  Look into teaching.

I've kind of changed my views on wanting to teach.  There's something that seems somewhat conceited to me about it, as though I've decided that I'm not really going to help anyone but pass on knowledge that I claim will help people, but I've chosen not to employ in order to teach other people that will inevitably also choose to teach it instead of employ it.  Plus, if you know me, I'm just assured to tell colleagues to go fuck themselves. So....Doh!

7.  Apply for teaching gig.

See above.  Doh!

8.  Monitor Eating.

Again, I came late to this, but I'm monitoring it down to the nth degree these days.  This is aided by my previously mentioned new buddy, fitday.com.  Check!

9.  Review Intro Psychology.

Always necessary for the licensing exam and the initial impetus for wanting to teach (teachers of intro psych are known to do better on the licensing exam).  I've kept current, but I'm not counting. Doh!

10.  Record structure of a song every month.

Oops.  I have to say, it really is the hooking everything up and wiring everything and the long time to set up that sidetracks me, by the time I'm ready to record, I'm exhausted.  Doh!

11.  Take better care of teeth.

Flossing and tossing, motherfucker!!!!  Check!

12.  Do yoga at least 2 times a week.

First of all, fuck you for calling me a hippy.  Second, I've not been doing yoga 2x's a week, but I do it once a week for an hour and a half straight and then an hour stretch half-yoga thing on another day; so, I'm counting it!  Check!

13.  Send birthday cards to all relatives.  

I'm ashamed to say I psyched myself out on this one.  I kept thinking, "If I send this one to cousin so and so, then the one I didn't send to Uncle whoever will be mad, so i can't send one.  Four or five of those went by and I threw my hands up.  I'll start january first of next year. Maybe my upcoming cousin/grandmother combo birthday. we'll say.  Anyway...doh!

14.  Keep the home clean more days than not.

We were doing well on this at the beginning of the year, helped out  by a number of parties we had (even though they weren't that big...well, one was a deal but still).  Somewhere around August, that all went to hell.  But we're working our way back.  I'm going to neither check nor doh it because it's in process and we can make up ground in the home stretch.  Undecided!

15.  Start saving for new computer.  

This was going well in the beginning of the year, then that whole covering debt thing along with funding parties and trips to Alabama put the kaibosh on that quickly.  I'll have to get Steve Jobs to get me one.  Doh!

16.  Watch less tv.

This was helped by the writers strike.  This was harmed by hulu.com.  Damn you, hulu.  Doh!

17.  Buy one new piece of clothing/garment a month.

The idea here was to get a nice wardrobe over time with minimal cost.  With the aforementioned costs added, this became less plausible.  In addition, I'm still quite happy with my current wardrobe.  I could always add, but have you seen half the crap out there?  Doh!

18.  Take Hume for a long walk every week.

Hume.  R.I.P.   Fuck you, G-d!!

19.  Learn to mix some drinks.

I expanded this to be "learn to mix a new drink every other week" and went with it for a while.  But now, I'm not really drinking at all and i'm really not that into anyway.  I did learn to do some new drinks though, so I'm going to count it, noting that the remainder is wiped away because I just don't really want to do it anymore.  Check!

20.  Buy my father a present for all major holidays.

Does regifting count?  Check!

21.  Get and stay in touch with at least two old friends.

Check!

22.  Work on and finish personal crest.

You don't want to know.  I'm working on it.  In process!

23.  Eat at restaurants less days of the week.

Because of my strict healthy diet these days, we're eating at restaurants maybe once a week and that's like a 6 inch sandwich at Subway.  Check, motherfucka!!!

24.  Sleep at a decent hour more days than not.

If there is one thing I've failed at more miserably than any other thing on this list, it would be this item.  I just can't do it.  I'm a night owl through and through.  I've tried.  Woah, how I've tried.  It just hasn't worked out yet. But I'm going to refocus my energy on this problem.  Never give up! Never surrender!!! Doh, I'm a mothafucka!!!

25.  Keep in touch with my mother's side of the family.  

I've been trying to do this and have had limited success.  But that limited success has not been on account of me not trying.  In addition, I've at least upped my contact significantly from previous years, so I'm counting it.  Check!

Hmmmm. at the end of the first 25 review, I've got 11 completed, 3 not applicable, leaving 11 totally fucked thus far.  I'm running at 50 percent.  Perhaps, the next 25 will up my average.  (a preliminary scan of the next 25 says indeed my average will go up!).  Stay tuned, faithful.  

Any suggestions on what I should work on and how?

Yang's Take On the US Financial Meltdown

Listen up, kids.

I'm not an economist.  I'm not trained in finance in any way.  I can't even keep a checkbook straight.  So, if you really started reading this to get a serious analysis on what's been happening in the US financial markets....you're a fucking moron.

The only thing that it does make me think is that I wasn't going to see any of that money anyway.  And since the CEO's of Bear Sterns and AIG will be walking away with their benefits package intact, I could give a rats ass.  I'm sure the economy will slow to a depression crawl and everyone will be scrounging for resources....which is kind of how I live my life anyway.  So what else is new.  

Welcome to Yangville, John Q. Public.  Make sure you keep your cardboard box away from mine at night.  The alley gets a little rough.

A Comment About Shirley Manson

Off and on again, I've watched the new Terminator series. It's okay.  Not too good. Not too bad.  It's got Lena Headey in it though, and that goes a long way in my book.

This season casts Garbage's Shirley Manson as a defense computer company executive that we later find out is an evil terminator of the T-2 variety (ie one of those liquid metal types).

While it's certainly easy to picture Shirley Manson as evil, as many interviews I've read with her suggest she just may be in real life, I can't help every time she's on the screen acting hearing in the back of my mind, "Stupid giiiirl, nanananana. Stupid giiiirl nanananana."

One final question:  Computers perfect AI in the future but they can't figure out a way to mimic an American accent to blend in better in the US?  They opt for an awkward Scottish accent?  Hmmmm.

Oh well.  Stupid giiiirl. nananana.

Predictions For the Upcoming Season 4 of House

It's that time again.  House starts up tonight which means it's time once again for my annual top 10 predictions for the upcoming season.  Here goes:  (try to keep score).

The theme this year:  Gayness and Drugs
10.  Cuddy becomes pregnant, something that is explored by itself as a medical mystery.  Even more mysterious will be the revelation that Amber was the father!

9.  Finally, the two will stop beating around the bush this season when Foreman and Chase admit their feelings for each other and make sweet passionate love onscreen in the nurse's lounge.  Special guest star John Hagee will be an odd addition to such a homoerotic episode.

8.  Dealing with feelings of resentment towards House over the death of his girlfriend, House and Wilson enter therapy.  After two unsuccessful sessioins, House reccommends they try a new treatment regiment. Heroin!!!

7.  Upon finding out that Amber is the father of Cuddy's baby and that Chase and Foreman are the new item, Cameron and 13 will be in an all out war for Cuddy's affections.  This will lead to several highly charged episodes where the pair act quite risque in a sort of sexiness one upsmanship. 

6.  To make money for his new heroin habit, House devises a scheme to sell Cuddy's baby on the black market.  He is reprimanded at the last minute by  Wilson.  Ironically, House's plan uncovers 13's plan to use the baby as a guinea pig to test Huntington's cures on.

5.  Taub's wife makes many appearances this season, as she's catches him with a nurse and hawks him all season to make sure he's on the straight and narrow.  Taub contemplates suicide.

4.  Bringing more Kumarness to the role, we find out that indeed it is      that is House and Wilson's heroin supplier.  To help them kick the habit, we are revisited by Henry (Harold) from season 2 who has given up his BDSM lifestyle for a life slinging dope.  Henry uses wonderjoints to get House and Wlson off of smack.

3.  New wave retro hits the clinic and everyone starts dressing in small sleaved suits with white shirts and skinny black ties.  Also, look for prominent earings on all the men and an odd replay of a lot of Spandau Ballet on the soundtrack. 

2.  House gets a new girlfriend, however, in a replay of last season's plot, he goes through an interview process of 30 women, in the end firing them all for suggesting that Lupus is sexy.

1.  Ghost Amber.  Amber will haunt House in visions, being snarky about cases and his awful new retro new wave style.  Unfortunately, the director will go for more of a slapstick angle and use a  lot of gags from ghost dad with the concept. 

Over at politedissent.com, our resident medical expert has his own game going where you can guess which conditions will be mentioned this season.  He has a points system set up even.  Check it out.

That Old Time Icky Nervous Feeling

Last weekend, I had an unusual experience.  I went to this taping for an HBO comedy special.  It was at a pretty big auditorium theater, which was nice.  My girlfriend and I got our seats upgraded to where we got to sit on the front row, so we thought, "Awesome, good seats, maybe we'll get pulled into the act or something."  At least, we would get to see well.

As per usual, there were warm up acts, with one of them we had seen before and actually liked.  It was going smoothly.

But then, it all went horribly wrong.  Apparently, the crew on the front row to the right of us was comprised of 2 couples which included chicks that thought they were at a Girls Gone Wild taping in Cancun.  They had a bucket, A BUCKET, of longnecks, and neither of the girls could've weighed more than 120 lbs tops.  And by the time the show was over a couple of hours later, the bucket was full of nothing but empty bottles.

These girls continued to talk and scream for jokes about whiskey for some reason, prompting one comedian to tell them to shut the fuck up, but in a way that was somewhat humorous.  As well, one of them literally lost control of her arms and legs and started kicking her legs in the air throughout the show and throwing her arms up, much like you would see girls in a wet t-shirt contest that are about to get sprayed.  That and they just loved to hear talk about their snatches for whatever reason.  In fact, now that I think about it, I'm not sure they were at the right event.  Maybe the really did think they were going to a spring break party.

Regardless, it was one of those experiences that makes you cringe, washed over by an icky feeling.  You're not sure if you're embarrassed for the comedian, for the girls, for their dates, or for yourself.  You're not quite sure if one of the comedians is going to get so annoyed they're going to start crying on stage. You don't know if the girls are going to lose their last semblance of inhibition and start fingering banging themselves loudly in front of everyone.  It's much like standing near a grenade that you've been told has a 50/50 chance of going off.

But if that wasn't nervewracking enough, the main act put it over the top.  We were there to see Rick Shapiro, who some of you might remember from Lucky Louie on HBO.  His shtick is that he's a drug addled sex fiend.  Here's a few of his bits on youtube.

The problem is that, though he plays that it might just be a character, at our show, I think he was coked out of his mind.  He kept repeating the jokes by accident, forgetting the punchline.  He was sweating.  He prattled on, not observing any pauses as though he was kind of lost.  He kept threatening/promising to fuck the girls on the front row (yes, those girls) and even referred to my girlfriend as the naughty librarian type.

Again, it was one of those situations if you're not sure if the clown from Showtime At the Apollo is going to come out with the broom.  You're also not sure if he's going to literally freak out and start snorting half a kilo right on stage.  And you're especially worried that, indeed, he may just become incontinent at any given moment.  Regardless, it's torture enough just hearing him try to remember and eek out his jokes, 9 times out of 10 getting the punchline wrong, if there ever was one.

All in all, it was very much like going to someone's house that is way too deep into drugs and then sticking around too long as their truly rough heroin addict 3 strikes friends show up to do some business. You just kind of want to be nice, but you also would like things to quickly resolve in a way that you know it's going to be okay.

Maybe it was all an act. Maybe Shapiro really is reformed.  I've seen coked out before though, and that was classic coked out.  And maybe those girls are nice proper ladies that just went slightly overboard on the night.  I actually think justice would be served if neither of their boyfriends got laid that night, which, judging by the amount of booze that had been consumed, may have been the case given the assured level of oncoming unconsciousness.

Next time I want to see a drug-addled comedian screw up his routine, I'll sit at home in front of the mirror with a lot of blow.  I'll let you know how that went.

An Example of the Genius Function At Work On My Itunes

Not bad at all, I think.  (click on the picture to enlarge)

My Review of the New Itunes

For those of you in the know, I'm a Mac snob.  Yes, one of those guys.  You know, the one's that say, "You bought a pc?  Sssss, oooo, that's too bad.  Things not going okay recently?"  I've been using itunes for as long as I can remember.

Itunes has just come out with version 8 and unlike a lot of their other releases which had minor things that nobody without an iphone really gave a rat's ass about, this one had some strikingly new things in it.

One, and most notable to me, is the genius function.  The genius function basically does what pandora does except it's limited to just what's in your collection.  It does, however, suggest other artists that are not in your collection in an attempt to get you to buy a song from the store, but you can at least preview the others.  

I was rather impressed.  Even though it'll never replace pandora unless I'm just in a mood to hear what I've got, it really did do a pretty good job of setting up a playlist of songs that were a lot like and flowed naturally from the one song I would pick.   It wasn't perfect of course, but for what it is, it's pretty good. 

There's a new iphoto like in between view function, where it's not like coverflow, but you see album covers for each song in a tiled selection.  I find this annoying, but it may grow on me.  The main problem is that, even though it looks nice, it doesn't really help you when you want to quickly scan for a song, which for me is a lot of the time.  But of course, you can default back to the old way.  

The visualizer is pretty rockin now, though I never use it, but then again, I've never thought to use it because it's usually sucked.  I doubt I'll really use this one, but you never know.  Visually, it's a leap forward from the old one that just was a bit too much like the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Podcast now have a new category function which I'm not sure I'll use, but it's nice to see it included.  Oddly, it has presets and has included some of mine in places it probably shouldn't have, but it's still a nice addition.  

There's hi-def video now if you're so inclined, though my monitor isn't really up to it, but the next one, for sure.  There are a couple of other bells and whistles, but those are the big ones.


All in all, I must say I'm pleased with this go round.  It has some nice new features for the product itself instead of for the product in relation to another product (like the create a ringtone feature for the iphone...whooptee shit).  Good job, kids.

I Have Fucked Myself All Up

So, I've been on this intense workout routine for a while and last night, dumbassness finally caught up with me.  I've yet to procure a good pull-up bar, so I've been using those crappy elastic bands you see in magazines and whatnot.

Anyhow, my set of bands came with a door attachment that would allow you to secure them to the door so you could pull from the door downward.  Of course, my haphazard ass decided it was a good idea to let that "safety first" thing slide, leading to the door attachment coming off in mid pull down, releasing something the size of a bullet with great force squie at my apparently empty head, leaving me on the floor in a pool of blood looking somewhat like this:

...sans manly metal chains and less than manly pink leotard and retardo blondie-bear hairdo.  

I stumbled around for a minute or so, seeing blood everywhere, but not sure just how bad it was.  It was very much like when you've been kicked in the balls, but not directly; that point where you feel that the pain is likely coming, but you're confused and asking yourself, "Did I just get fucked up?...  I think I just got fucked up. ... Holy shit, I'm fucked up!"

Then, apparently still saying "fuck it" to the safety first rule, I gauged, not by use of a mirror mind you, with the fingers of one hand just how big the gash was.  I decided, from all my years of medical training (which means all my years watching episodes of House) that, indeed, I was not going to die.  Of course, I knew this to be true because.... oh wait, not I didn't.  I was just guessing.  I'm lucky my head hasn't turned green and fallen off yet.  I didn't even wake up my girlfriend.  

What I did do was fish out my 7 year old first aid kid (for camping no less) and use and assload of gauze, leading me to look like this:  ,   sans the professional wrapping and actual stopping of the bleeding for the most part.  

And where does my stupidity factor go to the next level.  Like the douche I am, I decided, "I'm tough. Fuck this shit.  I'm going to finish the workout."  About 10 seconds later, my woozy head told me, "Yeah, you're tough.  As tough as Richard Simmons in that goddamn peacock outfit on Letterman.  Take the dress off and sit down, nancyboy."

So, now, I've got a ginormous scar/scab/gash on the upper part of my head.  Of course, if anyone of note asks on the street, I'm telling them I got it from kicking some guy's ass after he insulted my girlfriend.  I'm a bad man!!!!

For Your Pleasure Today, Sarah Silverman Getting Punched In the Face

Play it over and over again for added satisfaction.

Invisible Donkey Removal

In the spirit of the people that remove spirits from your home that I mentioned a few months ago, here is a site that takes it to the next level: They remove invisible donkeys.

Now your life will be safe and free of those fiendish invisible donkeys.  Go forth and live free.

UPDATE:  Check out these other special offerings from the same site.  Lovely.

Two Theories One of Which Might Make You a Little Bitch

So, I noticed nobody came up with any time management strategies for me after I asked for the project I was working  on.

I can only suspect that this flows from 2 possibilities:  1.  Everyone I know and that are likely to read my blog are generally disorganized and don't know any time management strategies.  This might well be the case as, now that I think about it, a lot of my friends are indeed hopelessly the opposite of time management success stories.  So, your fuck-up nature may be the answer to all my questions.

2. You're all just a bunch of little bitches that don't take the time to respond.  This, as well, seems likely knowing those same people.

So, let's recap:  You're all a bunch of fuck-up little bitches.  Now we know it and can move forward.

About Rudy Guiliani's Convention Speech

This was probably the best question about any speech from either convention I've heard yet, and when you think about it, reeks of funniness. It's from Paul Krugman's NYTimes piece:

Can the former mayor of New York City, a man who ... “marched in gay pride parades, dressed up in drag and lived temporarily with a gay couple and their Shih Tzu” — that was between his second and third marriages — really get away with saying that Barack Obama doesn’t think small towns are sufficiently “cosmopolitan”?

 Classic!

Why Is Everyone So Angry?

As noted by the huge majority of responses in last week's poll, indeed, everyone is generally opting to let their inner rage monster out for a walk quite often.

Now that I think about it, everyone I'm friends with indeed does seem angry save one person I can think of.  It usually goes something like this:  "Yeah, I went to X and saw X and it was okay, but goddammit why does that motherfucker have to fucking do so much bullshit?"  or "That place is just fucked up. I fucking hate going to that shit. Fuck them!"

Now, is this an issue where I have just chosen to be around some pretty angry people?  Or is the world really just starting to suck that bad?  I must admit, I'm kind of an angry guy myself in a lot of ways, but I like think I keep my rage pretty well trained on a few individuals and institutions rather than society in general.  I  wonder what will be left to blame once I destroy said individuals and institutions?

What do you think?  Is the world really that fucked up?

Thanks for voting in the poll last week and don't forget to take a turn at the right over there and hit the new poll.