Mind of Yang

My Political Positions

2009-10-15T13:07:00.000-05:00

You know, people always ask me, "Yang, where do you fall on the issues? Who are you voting for this go round?" Well, I'll tell you, it's a very delicate process. We can certainly talk about the merits of the entrepreneurs of America and less government intervention versus the need for a realistic safety net and a reigned in foreign policy; but...I think the whole process can really be solved by one issue alone:

Daughters.

Daughers, you say? Yes, daughters. Let me illustrate this in graphical form.

Between George Bush and Al Gore, who had the stronger positions. As with most of the country, it was a very hard decision. But with use of the daughter methodology, the choice was a little bit easier.
Here are the Bush daughers circa 2000:

That's not bad, and, as a bonus; they're twins. But here's where Gore fell on the daugher issue:

Ooooo. That's a close one. I mean, college age twins that drink a lot. That's tough to beat. But much like the actual election, it was neck and neck with Gore getting the edge. He has three hot daughters and they're still hot after college just like they were in college.

What about Kerry vs Bush. Again, the daughter method is useful. You've already seen the Bush twins, so here's John Kerry's kids:

Again, very close, but with the one daughter looking like a cross between Ann Coulter and a praying mantis (which may be redundant), the twins mystique wins out; again, eerily like the actual election.

But what about this go round? Obama or McCain? Well, this was shocking, but according to the daughter methodology, John McCain would've led us into the promised land and should've been elected president. See for yourself:

or would you prefer

Yes, exactly. Obama's kids are cute and all, but damn.

When we violate the daughter principle, we do so at our own peril. It is nature trying to tell us something, and makes all issues easier to deal with. Adopt the daughter principle in your own life.

Of course, at this point you may be saying, "But Yang, what about Bill Clinton? Chelsea wasn't a looker back then and the economy did pretty well." True enough. But consider what Chelsea's competition was:

Game. Set. Match.

Ummmm, fuck yeah!

2009-09-18T15:08:00.002-05:00

You Never Know Who's Listening

2009-09-09T19:22:00.000-05:00

"So the other day, she came here with her underwear, Thursday, and we had made love Wednesday, a lot," Duvall said, according to KCAL, which obtained the video. "So I am getting into spanking her. Yeah, I like it. I like spanking her. She goes, 'I know you like spanking me.' I said, 'Yeah, that's cause you're such a bad girl.'"

---Orange County, CA Republican in session when he didn't realize his mic was live. He was talking about two lobbyists.

The End of Obama's Speech to School Kids (via dailykos)

2009-09-08T11:15:00.000-05:00

So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

Now, when I snap my fingers, you will immediately begin operation America Belongs To Kenya Now, Beeyotch. Activation code: six six niner delta roger omega fluffy tango niner eighter later gator. [SNAP!] Go! Go!! Go!!!

Niiiiiice

2009-09-08T11:08:00.002-05:00

I Have a Confession to Make, Folks

2009-08-06T13:39:00.000-05:00

Once Again, Someone Has Taken Awesome One Step Higher

2009-08-03T18:35:00.000-05:00

The guys impression is spot on. I give you, Not the Cosby Show.

Ouchie!

2009-07-30T13:53:00.000-05:00

Watch the intro of this douche and his fighting style. Then either watch all the way through or speed to 2:50 to see the pain, then watch his bitch facial expression.

The Runaway Factoid

2009-07-27T15:56:00.000-05:00

As I've grown up and matured (matoored "wink"), there is one thing that constantly gets in my craw for its sheer devilishness. That thing: the runaway factoid.

What is the runaway factoid, you ask? Think of it like this: you hear that Chuck Norris is in town. You go to the place where Chuck Norris is reported to be, and there you see this guy roughly the size of Chuck Norris with blonde hair and Norris beard wiz by in fast moving car. You saw Chuck Norris! Woah!

But, then again, you didn't really see Chuck Norris. I mean, the car was moving pretty fast. But you saw a guy fitting that description roughly, blurry as it may be, in a car that may or may not have been a limo...but you know, you were paying attention as much as possible to Chuck, so it might have been a black lincoln town car too.

Then, you're watching Fox News (why you're doing this, I'm not at all sure), and you see a taped interview from earlier that day with Chuck Norris in their studios on the other side of the country...time stamped at the exact time you saw Chuck in your town wizzing by you. Wait....what gives?

You, my friend, have been had by the runaway factoid.

In fact, some douche on the other side of the country is trying to hype of the new home gym system fronted by Chuck by sending Chuck lookalikes all over the country out to make "appearances" just like the one you saw, stirring up a frenzy about him. Where's that Chuck asswhoopin when you need it?!

This, unfortunately, has become the bane of my existence. I'm interested in a myriad of topics on this or that, be it art or self-improvement or politics, whatever. And there is one thing that is certain of virtually every topic imaginable: there is someone out there that hates it with a fervent passion. Add to that already combustible element a dash of wackjob, and you've got trouble brewing. Add to this recipe of disaster a nice dose of skilled competency, and you've got the perfect storm for a bookload of runaway factoids about a given topic.

If you like Jon Bon Jovi (and I don't know why you wouldn't, unless you know, you're not gay), then you can rest assured that somewhere someone will be pushing the theory that he eats little children. If you want to know more about chemistry, you'll undoubtedly find a group of people somewhere pushing the idea that chemistry has long since actually achieved the ability to turn regular items into gold but is withholding this knowledge. If you want to know more about Catholicism, be prepared to find a bunch of people claiming that the early Popes all were secretly polytheistic worshipers of Zeus.

Now, these claims by themselves aren't so bad. In fact, they're kind of fun. But then enters the runaway factoid and fucks everything up. Not only does Jon Bon Jovi eat little children, we have obtained a written statement (posted on this site) from hotel workers that have seen Bon Jovi eat little children as well as police reports that have described an incident that happened at the hotel around the time. We have travel logs kept by the Papal assistants (posted here) that show many of the early Popes traveling to different parts of Rome at the exact same time that remnants of polytheistic Zeus worshippers were holding grand ceremonies. And on and on.

And these factoids look quite convincing. And they start to make sense in a perverse way. "Why, Bon Jovi did have that long hair. Perhaps he was hiding little children under there for a snack later. "

But still, these runaway factoids are the stuff of pure conspiracy theory fun. "We have tape of Obama grandmother making him swear allegiance to the Koran in Kenya where he was born." "We have audiotape of Neil Armstrong saying the stagelights need to be reset on the Apollo Moonlanding." "We have exclusive legal documents that show that George Bush made a call to towers in New York on September 11th 30 minutes before they were blown up!" And on and on and on.

The birthers are pure fun. The truthers are pure fun. Moon landing denialists are pure fun. Alien autopsy people are endlessly entertaining. In fact, just reading the comments section of any given conspiracy theory site can keep me monumentally entertained for hours on end.

The problem for me arises around serious issues. I mean, nobody really gives a rats ass about the truthers or moon landing denialists. But then there are some serious topics of science and journalism and just basic stuff I want to know where the runaway factoid still makes itself known and is hard to get a handle on.  The reason it's so annoying to me is that because I'm not versed in a lot of disciplines in depth, I have to rely on what I read from what I consider the most reliable sources.  And then, out of the blue, someone makes a very concise coherent argument backed by some very real looking documents and or plausible holes in a theory.  I don't have time to check and see it's true or not.  I'm just left with this gaping hole of confusion.

If I did have time, half of such gaping hole stuff I find, I would quickly realize with a search or two was created out of thin air or "discovered" by an attorney that also is the local game warden at wildlife center in the middler of Arkansas after he dropped a lot of acid one night.  But I don't have time.  And worse, even if I did, I believe the number of these runaway factoid are ever increasing.

And herein lies the meat of the problem.  In a world where power is derived from accepted belief, and digital and legal evidence is all too often taken as conclusive gospel, there has been a dramatic increase in the amount of these runaway factoids in the world, factoids that are just plausible enough to make you not sure of what to think.  It can become mindnumbing. And the news media does a bad job with them because their resources are limited as well.

Certainly, the internet and billions upon billions of user created content has led to and increase in factoids, but I also think there was this anti-mainstream media thing that started to produce "evidence" that, dealt with professionally could easily be dismissed, but to the casual observer, was hard to parse.  And so factoids became self referenced and shared between a certain segment of the "anti-establishment" looking to promote whatever cause they were promoting.   Accompanied by a great deal of dumbasses claiming that the "truth" was being hidden by the mainstream media and that the stupid masses were being misled, after a while, there were just so many "factoids" out there, often highly funded and  with incredibly professional looking documentation, that it became impossible to check even a small amount of them.

And I worry about that in the future. I can't tell you how many times some douchenozzle has shown me bogus statistics about some contentious topic that seemed completely plausible, only to find out later that it was well-crafted conspiracy theory with numbers straight out of thin air, put together by some other douchenozzle. And even worse, the douchenozzles all too often reference each other as "experts" on such issues, usually citing some other douchenozzles along the way they cavort around with on the internet causing mischief.

A few authors have written to some extent about this phenomenon. The argument goes something like this: in a world where factoids can be generated by hyperagendad groups at an unbelievable rate that become harder and harder to factcheck, what will continue to emerge is a world of knowledge that confirms your preconceived notions, regardless of what your preconceived notions are. And there will be a world of knowledge that confirms the preconceived exact opposite notions of your jackoff neighbor that keeps letting his dog poo in your yard. Both of you, mortal enemies, will be completely correct no matter what you think.

Believe the world is flat? There will be literally tons of people with tons of clear hard to refute evidence that also believe the world is flat for you to hook up with. Believe that babies really come from the babymaker god Ulah Ulah? I've heard there is a growing body of research that is becoming harder and harder to ignore on that fact. In fact, remember that mainstream media fucker Copernicus that said that it was the sun that was the center of our solar system? I have documents here that show he forged all his data. In fact, we are all revolving around a planet that can't be seen because of a strange light effect caused by its interactiion with the sun.

But maybe such a world will be better any way. For when I can irrefutably prove any damn thing I want, I will finally know for absolute certain that indeed all women really do want my dick.

Mark Sanford's Monthly Calendar

2009-07-23T11:10:00.000-05:00

Ripped from DailyKos.

The Return of Something Awesome

2009-06-15T13:17:00.002-05:00

Dinosaur Jr. via last.fm

And no, I don't mean me. Yes, I know I don't post much here recently, but sometimes I run out of things to say, so bah. But today, I heard the new single from Dinosaur Jr and I must say....it rocks. This is one of THE greatest bands of all time and any indie-minded early 90's music fan worth his or her salt would do well to just accept it.

Not only does Dinosaur Jr have a new single called "Over It" but it's by the original line up of the band, including Lou Barlowe. So, to all those of us out there begging for something awesome to come this way, I give you ......Dinosaur Jr.

The President Causes All of My 1st Grade Teachers' Heads To Spontaneously Explode At the Same Time

2009-05-20T16:23:00.000-05:00

In a related story, the Teachers Union sent up proclamations that Barack Obama would certainly break his neck and that he should stand in the corner and think about safety.

Can I Get An Amen?

2009-05-11T12:46:00.000-05:00

This article from ABC.com says that more and more younger people are becoming less and less religious. Brothers and sisters, can I get a hallelujah?! Say amen!!

New research shows young Americans are dramatically less likely to go to church -- or to participate in any form of organized religion -- than their parents and grandparents.

"It's a huge change," says Harvard University professor Robert Putnam, who conducted the research.

Historically, the percentage of Americans who said they had no religious affiliation(pollsters refer to this group as the "nones") has been very small -- hovering between 5 percent and 10 percent. However, Putnam says the percentage of "nones" has now skyrocketed to between 30 percent and 40 percent among younger Americans.

Amen, brother. Amen!

Greedy Humdrum Place That I Live

2009-05-11T12:38:00.000-05:00

Maps of the the 7 deadly sins by area of the United States. I live in a pretty greedy yet humdrum area. Who knew. I looked at how they collected this data and found it to be HIGHLY bogus, but still interesting.

Premiering a New Feature On Mind of Yang: Deep Thoughts

2009-05-08T09:58:00.001-05:00

Every now and then, I have throw away thoughts that I think would still be interesting if someone (other than me, cause I ain't got no damn time) would investigate and write an essay on or that just really make you wonder. They're not always Buddhist deep, but they can be Earth shaking sometimes.

I'll be opening up a category section on the right panel to house all the deep thoughts.

Today's deep thought: Did Tone Loc really do the wild thing all that much more with that many different people than the average person, or was it all a show to get rich? If it was just for show, how does that make him feel about himself? Hmmmm.

A Pet Peeve

2009-05-04T15:44:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's infantile of me, but I just cringe every time I hear someone haughtily use the word "mature," stressing the "t" sound instead of the "ch" sound, like "mutoor" instead of "muchoor." If you're not British, you have no business speaking like this. Worse, I find that people that talk like this invariably only use certain words in this haughty way, which means they're doing it to sound wise and "mutoor" themselves, but really meaning they're just assholes.

The Re-emergence of My Music Library

2009-05-01T13:58:00.000-05:00

Today, I had a technical issue with a download into itunes. I needed to get it fixed and finally had to call tech support. Now, calling tech support is a big deal for me, because I like to consider myself as one with my machine, but sometimes, you gotta go to the mayshta of all that is Mac, the mac geniuses.

Before I go any further, I should tell you a little bit about the clusterfuck that became my music library. On my old computer, I had literally thousands of songs from my library built up over time. All nicely backed up by a 1tb external hd. It was, in a word, badass.

It was badass right up until the day that both the computer and the external decided to take a trip to fuckedville to appeal to its mayor to make me pay taxes to its municipality. And lost data turned out to be the mayor of fuckedville. So there I was; no computer, no data, no nothing. For someone that works closely with computers in many different capacities, it's much like getting kicked in the balls over and over and over and over again, and then realizing the foot is the lightest thing in a series of items that will soon be lodged at your crotch.

But luckily, I got my workplace to buy me a shiny new computer. And when I tried to do a migration from the external hd, I realized the external was toast. So, as I was trying to salvage the data off the external, I built up another itunes library based off of cd's I'd collected of backed up material for years. I went from thousand of songs to almost 1000 overnight. But then, I actually got the external hd fixed WOOT! So, I migrated that itunes library over, replacing the main library, then importing new additions from the the first library on the new computer (gone crosseyed yet?).

So, the library was in full swing and the party was back on. Except for one minor glitch. In this uberfucked version of a migration to an already established computer, the itunes library was permissioned to the other computer and not my current one. Not really so bad, because it's pretty easy to fix, or so I thought. I tried over and over the basic fixes of permission swapping, but to no avail. What I ended up with was the headache of having to go to each song of each artist on each album, permissioning every single item individually (and yes, I know there's a way to do it universally, but that didn't work. You think I wouldn't have tried that, you ass?). That meant that a lot of songs weren't goint to play on my new system until I had authorized them. Over around 4 months, I've been able to individually permission my songs one by one, still getting nowhere near over half of them, basically meaning huge swathes of my music were lost in the okie fanokie.

But the huge cocked genius at Apple that helped me, changed all of that in an instance with his root madness schemes (stuff he told me isn't listed on discussion boards and wouldn't even be thought of as a fix by those not in the developer know- go figure). Now it's ALL fixed.

It's no so fucking awn that Donkey Kong can suck my dick! It's only been a couple of hours, and I"m hearing music I haven't heard in forever coming up on my itunes. This is the real shit, baby. That's what I'm talkin bout, Willis! I shall be dropping more rock in the future. You'd better prepare yourself like one of my wenches when she knows I've been taken by the flames of desire.

I thank you, Mr. Mac support staff guy that has officially and quite literally rocked my world. Aw yeah.

"Swine Flu Detected A Mile From My House" or "We're All Gonna Fucking Die!"

2009-04-30T09:42:00.000-05:00

So, finally, swine flu has come to my town. I just want to say to the evil children at the elementary school that have finally brought swine flu to the reality that is my life....fuck you! And laugh all you want, if I get swine flu, I'm going to each and every house of my friends to "share" in the magic with them. Fuck all of you, I'm taking you all with me.

Study Finds That Many Conservatives Don't Know Stephen Colbert Is Joking

2009-04-28T14:40:00.000-05:00

This is just hilarious. Stupid people make life great sometimes.

Once Again, Adler Relegated To the Bitch 2 Cents Role In the Jungian, Freudian, Adlerian triad

2009-04-27T16:00:00.000-05:00

Heavy Boots Keep Us All From Floating Away

2009-04-27T10:23:00.000-05:00

A funny blogpost that I think is pretty accurate. Roughly, the guy talks about how very smart people can just sometimes make boneheaded assumptions that make sense in a certain tight logic but completely ignore reality. In this instance, the guy explains an exchange with a philosophy professor that thinks that the only thing that kept the astronauts from floating away when they were on the moon was "heavy boots." I smell a Sonic Youth song coming on.

I Can't Decide If This Is Really Cool Or Really Retarded Part 2

2009-04-23T15:01:00.001-05:00

This is an article by an anonymous wife of a CEO of a major company that has accepted TARP funds from the government. On the one hand, it's cool that she's trying to manager her image as well as her money needs, understanding that appearances are important for public trust as well as basic decency in these times. On the other hand, virtually everything she says is likely not all that true if you were to look at the actual facts. I'm willing to bet she's bought more than two things this year. And while it's cool that she points out that her family is not really hurting from the financial crisis, the amount of money that it's likely her husband makes annually, even after a reduced portfolio, is probably so high that all of her concern is purely just image-management, as there is little reason for her to be strapped for any cash (it's been suggested that the author may well be one of the larger bank's CEO's wife such as Citigroup or some such). What those people make for getting fired is disgusting, so how they're doing when they don't get fired is likely a lot better, especially with a government backed guarantee. So, if she really is eating out a lot less these days because she thinks that's going to make a dent in her financial woe's, she's retarded and it may be indicative of the level of obscene wealth she had before the crisis. So, I'm on the fence about this one.

I Can't Decide If This Is Really Cool Or Really Retarded

2009-04-17T09:26:00.001-05:00

Ashton Kutcher beats CNN in the race to be the first person with a million followers on Twitter. Films crossing the finish line.
Free video streaming by Ustream

Greatest Jon Stewart Bit Ever

2009-04-16T11:34:00.001-05:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Whaaaa?

thedailyshow.com

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The Fury of Teabaggers.....Um....Yeah... It's... Um.....Sigh

2009-04-16T04:48:00.000-05:00

From dailykos. I can feel the rage.